I had a weird dream involving a lover from my past, so I decided it was ok to log onto Facebook for a few minutes. I discovered through a different website that he might be working in Phoenix (where we recently moved from). It is a big maybe, but yeah... the world is small.
This momentary lapse in my Facebook hiatus lead to an entire wasted morning. Ok, maybe not "wasted". I contributed some helpful advice to some folks, liked some pictures, and accepted a new friend's request for confirmation. Still, a WHOLE MORNING! I keep wanting to click again. Go back and see what's been said in the conversations in which I participated.
It is this drug that keeps my mind focused away from doing helpful things, like eating and practicing yoga or dance. I am compulsively thinking about the pictures I want to share and how no one really reads my blog posts, anyway. (Of course they don't, they're busy reading Facebook.)
I am not judging myself for slipping. It is what it is. No one holds this standard for my well-being. No one is denying me access. This is my choice. The development of a different kind of relationship with Facebook is not an easy thing to manage. There are so many options in time management. Today, I chose to test the waters and I ended up swimming in the deep end. That's ok. I am putting it away. No more for today. Tomorrow is a new day and perhaps I won't make the choice to log on. If I do, I will forgive myself. I will consider it a successful day in this journey.