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Addiction Steals

1/26/2015

Addiction steals your time in the blink of an eye.

I had a weird dream involving a lover from my past, so I decided it was ok to log onto Facebook for a few minutes. I discovered through a different website that he might be working in Phoenix (where we recently moved from). It is a big maybe, but yeah... the world is small.

This momentary lapse in my Facebook hiatus lead to an entire wasted morning. Ok, maybe not "wasted". I contributed some helpful advice to some folks, liked some pictures, and accepted a new friend's request for confirmation. Still, a WHOLE MORNING! I keep wanting to click again. Go back and see what's been said in the conversations in which I participated.
It is this drug that keeps my mind focused away from doing helpful things, like eating and practicing yoga or dance. I am compulsively thinking about the pictures I want to share and how no one really reads my blog posts, anyway. (Of course they don't, they're busy reading Facebook.)

I am not judging myself for slipping. It is what it is. No one holds this standard for my well-being. No one is denying me access. This is my choice. The development of a different kind of relationship with Facebook is not an easy thing to manage. There are so many options in time management. Today, I chose to test the waters and I ended up swimming in the deep end. That's ok. I am putting it away. No more for today. Tomorrow is a new day and perhaps I won't make the choice to log on. If I do, I will forgive myself. I will consider it a successful day in this journey.

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Free Bird

1/26/2015

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The blessing of a photography course at the zoo was a welcomed start to the day. It wasn't what I was expecting, though I did learn some new lingo. The class ran late and I chose to arrive at the Sangha Yoga Studio during the class break. This is our first weekend intensive of the 200-hour yoga teacher training certification (YTT). Lightyears of information streaming into our tiny little human brains. What is the percent brain usage these days? Is it still 10%? It is likely that yogis use more. I bet I could locate some research on the matter, but who'd click the links, anyway? Is anyone reading?

I was going to be late, so I may as well show up with food, right? I felt my intuition repeatedly hint towards The Veg Head.
Listening with a little resistance, I pulled into the parking space, grabbed my wallet, and went inside. The polite blonde behind the counter greeted me warmly and offered the perfect suggestion for what I needed: something to contribute to a small group "pot luck". The curry chicken 'za (pizza, of course). They cut it into small squares and Alyssa, the cashier, and I had a great conversation about yoga. I gave her a free pass to Sangha. I keep them handy next to my own business cards.

The rest of the afternoon I communed with the yoginis of the YTT. The pizza was a big hit!
We used all manner of props to modify the poses and enhance the comfort of yoga. Tomorrow, we'll talk pulmonary anatomy and embodying breath work (pranayama).

The day was so full, I'm actually tired before 10pm. Granted, I've only had 5 hours of sleep last night and I have done more activity than my usual day. I'm sore and tired and plain boring... bed time in the single digit hours of Saturday night.

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Respite from Facebook

1/23/2015

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For a few weeks an awareness was building. Facebook was sucking the energy from my life and pouring it into cyberspace at an unsustainable rate. The lust to read and write positive posts, pass uplifting notes, and "like" everything that resonated with me as beautiful and true was overwhelming my lust for life in the here and now. I felt worse and worse after visiting Facebook, not better. The awareness became so obvious that I had to surrender. I had to give up my addiction to Facebook. (I'm still struggling, but have been generally successful.)

My last post for January 2015 said:
My Facebook activity is going into a hiatus period. (It's okay, I'll be back later this year.) Frankly, I'm addicted to all of you. I am addicted to helping, advising, offering positive out-pourings of loving support, and passing along wellness educational tips. I'm also addicted to virtually connecting with the places and people I wish I could be around all of the time and the multinational events I am missing and all of that...
This addiction is pulling me out of the here and now, so I have to step back and focus all that energy on the present moment and deeply healing inward. I still love you and want to hear from you and share myself with you.
You can always call, text, email, or find me at www.behrsnecessities.com

I realize I have neglected posting blog entries here. There was not a single post in 2014!
I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, so perhaps I was once again staring at some unreasonable expectation to only post profound epiphanies or submit articles I've authored that have been published in print or online. Silly Seleka's Perfectionism rears its familiar face.

I am not sure what to write about in this blog. For the first week of 2015, I posted daily entries to Facebook. They were simple logs of what inspired me to stay motivated. I celebrated the small successes. I relayed the day's pondering. I don't know if anyone would be interested in reading such things, but those posting did help me stay focused in the here and now with a positive mindset and relaxed wavelength.

The beautiful sunset photo shown above was taken on January 19th, the evening before my sweetheart's birthday. We went to a local park and stayed until the ranger asked us to leave so he could lock up. The last few precious moments of color-changing background were a blessing to share and capture on "film". It was the highlight of the day/week.

These precious moments don't happen online. They happen in real time in the sensory reality that begs our appreciation every day. I don't know when I will make an official "return to Facebook" posting. It may happen at the end of February. I'm just feeling it out and making progress. I know when I do return, my usage will be different. I will post more on the Behrs Necessities Wellness Studio page and less on my personal profile.

The blog postings here will serve more of what I used to post to Facebook. If someone wants to read about my personal recommendations and about what I do with my time, they can hop on over to the blog. Here I am in all my glory or gory. I will present to you my musings and art and thoughts and inspirations. I will offer a witness to who, what, and how I love as much and as often as possible. I will share how I overcome the suffering I feel in this human condition, in the hopes it will inspire you to remember how to help yourself overcome the suffering of your human condition. You'll get first access to videos I make and photos I take. There is always a new creative project to start (and maybe finish). I devote my online sharings to you, dear blog readers. I hope you like what you read, so if you do, please comment and share. If you don't go ahead and let me know that, too. These posts are for you as much as they are for me. We are in this together, my loves. As always...

With Love,
Seleka

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Addiction Steals

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Respite from Facebook

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