I learned through the gut-wrenching internal inferno experience that Ego is, was, and always will be the most vigilant protector of my Self. Its protection is like that of an overbearing parent driving a car (my emotions & body). When the Doctor Dream was no longer in view, the whole car was covered in darkness. It seemed like we drove into a cave after free-falling off a cliff, but really we were covered in a thick soot of disappointment. We could see nothing ahead and we went nowhere, so of course Ego took over... and started fires in order to bring light in the car.
Over the course of the past 28 months, I have washed the car and cleared the windows and shifted the seating arrangements around a lot. Ego has put up a fight the whole way... and often at the "worst" moments. As a teenager, the ego begrudgingly allowed me to get in the driver seat occasionally, but it wouldn't teach me to move forward. I had to seek and recognize divine driving instructors (like don Miguel Ruiz and Eckhart Tolle) or teach myself how to drive (with a lot of trial and error in the learning curve).
At the present moment, I generally have the power to tell Ego where to go. It still hangs out in the car, of course, it has to be with me in order to keep me physically safe. It doesn't get to drive nearly as often, but I can hear it barking directions from the backseat or quietly undermining my decisions under its breath. Occasionally, I catch it driving... guess I still need to take naps on this road trip. Perhaps that's why mindfulness, yoga, Reiki, meditation, and these many healing arts I've learned are so helpful: these practices allow my Self to rest and puts the Higher Self in charge. Occasionally, Ego and I can snuggle in the back as we rest together, as long as we feel safe.
When you invite your Higher Self into the front passenger seat as head navigator, or as driver, Ego has no where to go but the back. Of course it will get really angry about the change when it first experiences this perceived rejection of its protection. Ego needs time to simmer down and accept that everything is totally fine, and maybe even better than it or I could have designed. Eventually, it realizes Higher Self is perfectly capable of navigating and you are fully capable of driving. The three of you are safe and everyone inside will eventually arrive at your final destination with nothing to fear.
My ego hopes this sharing is helpful
Remember to take a moment, especially during rough times, and ask:
Who is driving your car?