Behrs Necessities
Seleka Behrs
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My Own Medicine

6/8/2015

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... and then you are the REAL you - whole and beautiful -
... and the REAL you attracts a partner who compliments you in the ways of healing yourself and the world.

The lessons I learned through my early relationships prepared me as the partner I am today. Through those heartaches, I discovered many qualities I wanted to find in a mate. I grew to know how I want to behave, and how I want to be treated. After the last big break-up (early 2005), I was as broken as I could be and still be alive and breathing in this body. I came close to giving up, and the love of friends and family kept me present on this earth. Instead of ending my life, I chose to be single for the first time since puberty. Even when I was approached by viable suitors, I chose to remain a single mingler. Following through with that choice gave me time to learn about who I am as a person, rather than a partner. I found my voice and I could stand strong in my truth.

I dated myself for months before I dated anyone else. I learned how to love myself - complete myself - trust myself. I moved through the dark cave of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression and out into the light of a million stars. (At first, the sun was way too bright.) My partner came into my life just as I realized the night sky was so beautiful. He watched me date myself, create myself, follow my passions, and heal from the past. All I had to do was leave the comfort of the cave, step into the open air, and breathe love into all aspects of my healing journey. Then, Love found me, and he carefully swooped me off my feet in a whirlwind of support. It was scary! Like the most pleasant air current carries a bird across a ravine, I had to trust the wind enough to hold me as we made our way to the other side of the canyon.

*insert cheesy Wind Beneath My Wings memory montage*

The magic is real, just ask us. My sweetheart and I have been partnered officially for 9 years in November. Utopia-state-love is a reality in our life every day. Every day we share our autonomous selves with each other in the blessed union of common goals. One of which: to enjoy seeing the other person happy. We get paid in smiles, laughs, and hugs for this investment. The returns are greater than the effort every time.

Loving yourself is Mission #1, not Mission Impossible.
Be alone. Choose it. Connect with yourself as you create yourself. Forget that you ever thought you needed external love, because you have the capacity to love yourself exponentially.
AND THAT'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR MATE, since they already love love LOVE to see you smile.

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