The Ego is Our Friend

What's the one ting that you've changed your mind the most about in the past decade? How does it sit with you today?

My education and how I see higher education, in general, has changed and morphed and created the most shifts in my life in the past decade. I went from Massage Therapy into Exercise Science into Physical Earth Sciences (pre-medical degree requirements) and towards becoming a Naturopathic Doctor. When that dream crashed and burned because of the physical difficulties I face in this temporary body...

The dream I never knew I had, until it was laid before me, died inside... my ego freaked out... and it took some serious soul-searching to grasp how to allow life to feel safe again.

I thought I needed my doctorate to feel capable of being a healer. I thought that if I was a bona-fide doctor, calling myself a healer would negate accusations of being egotistically-centered in my work. Funny how that was all in my own perception! (In that journey, I realized some doctors have the BIGGEST more unabashedly harsh egos I've ever felt in my presence. Now, I can sit in a room with them and navigate the challenge of that oxymoron.)

The perceptions of doctors and higher education have totally CHANGED! I went into the Transformational Psychology degree program at Southwest Institute of Healing Arts, and through that program I discovered the missing links to the mind-body connections I felt pulled to understand. I found names and logical reasons for subtle awarenesses I've felt all of my life. Even in that degree program, I still thought I needed 1,000 credentials to fully come into the space of feeling comfortable with the label: Healer. I am happy to have received the credentials I have received, since they are aligned with my soul's work on this planet. I know they have all been a part of the journey necessary for me to grow and blossom in the light of LOVE!

I'm currently shedding the "Know-it-all" self image that was inflicted on me from childhood. I no longer chase letters behind my name, I embrace learning programs from teachers who call to my heart-mind. I embrace the knowledge I am also a gifted teacher and will someday influence the masses to heal on many levels. If I never finish the degrees I have partial credit in... no big deal. I don't need a governing body to pat me on the back. I am shifting into a space where I don't have to explain WHY I know so much, nor do I have to explain (almost daily) how aware I am that I don't know everything. My childhood bullies called me 4-eyes and Know-it-all and deeply attacked my intellect as well as my appearance. I'm in the process of letting that go by learning the lesson: I am a teacher and healer with gifts beyond my current comprehension. Those who misunderstand me simply aren't ready to hear what I have to say (what their inner truth has to say) or recognize what I have to show them within themselves.

Bona fide is a Latin phrase meaning “in good faith,” most often used to mean “ genuine” today. I know in my heart and soul I am a bona-fide healer from the inside out; ever-expanding, ever-loving, ever-evolving, ever-lasting! I no longer worry about my ego taking over and dashing my humility to pieces. I was afraid of being egotistical, and that fear created the ego pattern I had to overcome. I'm still working on loving and holding space for my ego, and doing the same for others in their healing process. Ego was the enemy (and I hear people talk about killing it, or getting rid of it). WE MAKE EGO THE ENEMY! When ego and the self and the Higher Self become friends in just ONE PERSON... the whole world shifts for the better.

Today, I hold an intense curiosity for how the ego is our friend, protector, and teacher - it is the shadow dance when we're in our most light-producing Higher Self. As we learn to dance, we're going to trip and fall and that's ok. No amount of embarrassment will change that past - we fell down on the dance floor - and next time our balance will be more steady in the flow.

Understanding this perspective is a guiding light gift I accept with an open heart and seek to share with the world. I sit with the lessons of self-love every day. The only greater love is that from the source of all love... divinity incarnate.